And jokes

The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.

I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”

A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"

Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?

There, there, over there, and over here too.

For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)

My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.

What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?

A baby with a javelin in its head!

I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.

MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.

Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?

A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.

What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?

They both have red circles on their bodies.

When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?

When it's not raining.

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

They both used to be straight.

What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?

Cot death.

The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.

Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!

You look like your mom and your dad had a child.

"Demon Slayer" is yay, and who's your favorite in "Demon Slayer"?

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.