And jokes

I searched up hornets and then said that it will leave a sting.

Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?

Apex Legends: exists.

Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."

symple: Why did you include me in this fuckery?

symple: And why the fuck am I the profile picture?

angela: Because you are the thot of the group.

symple: Well it takes one to know one.

symple: Aren't Thot jokes just "whore'able?"

angela: FUCK OFF!

What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?

One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.

Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...

Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?

My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.

Mom, why was I adopted?

Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!

Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!

What's the difference between babies and onions? I cry when I cut onions.

What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?

A: Gonorrhea.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Through highs and lows, I'll be here for you.

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.

What activity do nuns and whores have in common?

Answer: Genuflection.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.

What is the difference between me and food?

Food has a use.

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.

Raju: How about you, Sunil?

Do you know?

Sanju: Sunil is my long distance

is a brother.

Raju: Long brother?

Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.