Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
Bill Cosplay
How did you get that? Used your life savings?
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
Fuck off!
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
you.
Why is Trump bad with America? Because he made it scream.
Wanna here a joke??
My life
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
My life.
Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
