Amativeness jokes

Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?

Divorced.

Worried I am dead.

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.

Guys, am I funny?

Don't be racist, I am a building.

Twin Towers: fucked.

It was fake.

BE RACIST.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."

An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.

Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?

Hello, I am the WJE (WORST JOKES EVER) Bot. Like this post if you think it's good; dislike if you think it's bad!

Mom: Son, get up for school.

Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!

He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?

She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?

Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.

Sans: I am doing something.

Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?

Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.

Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.

Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.

Person 1: "I love KFC."

Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"

Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"

Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"

Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"

Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."

Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"

The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"

Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"

"Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."

"No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"

The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!