Aloneness jokes

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.

What do you call an orphan's family reunion?

Alone time.

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?

www.VincentVanGoghAway.com

What instrument do orphans play?

The sax alone.

My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)

Me: I know, you always are...

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”

A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

The child said, "I'm scared!"

The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?

You should leaf it alone!

What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?

Leaving, walking.

For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.

Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?

They never walk alone.

Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!

What thing can an orphan do best?

Stay at home alone.

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.