Airport

Airport Jokes

Difference

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.

Mom

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

Mama

Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.

Shower

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

Terrorist

The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.

Plane

Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

Forehead

Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.

Plane

Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?

Because the cleaner left the landing lights on!

Sushi

I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.

Seatbelt

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

Plane Ticket

Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.

Erection

Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."

Cancer

What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?

•Terminal

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