Airport jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.

Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.

My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.

People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.

I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...

What did one plane say to the other?

"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."

Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"

I told my friend to fly a plane,

But he threw a ramp off a roof.

Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?

A: An airport.

I guess this is pretty plane.

I am sorry I am just winging it.

Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.

Wow, I just landed that one!

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."

What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."

Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?

A: They don't belong in buildings.

I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.

Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?

A: They get their shit packed the night before.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.