I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
AIDS?
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheel.
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
Hey ummm help!
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
I get more care packages than Africa.
What’s positive in Africa?
HIV/AIDS.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
