Aed jokes
I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.
A man walks into an AA meeting and asks for a roadmap.
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Me: What are you?
Jake: A muddeasso.
What happened when the fire used Tinder?
He luckily got a lot of matches.
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
How can you find out how old a cabbage is?
By looking at its cabbAGE.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
My father can take a joke because he made one.
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
"Hump a vow, it makes a cow."
What's a witch's favorite subject?
This is a joke. Laugh!
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.