Aed jokes
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
We gotta work ahead, people!
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.
Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?
Stranger 1: You can't!
Stranger 2: You can.
Stranger 3: How?
Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.
Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?
Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.
Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-
(The chat has been closed by stranger 1)
A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.
Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.
Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》
The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》
Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》
But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
My grandad killed Hitler. He was such a great man!
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!