What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."