Adoption

Adoption jokes

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?

The apples actually get picked.

Incest

Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."

Tyler: "Why?"

Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."

Orphan

Why can't orphans have iPhones?

Because they can't find the home button.

Kidnapping

"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"

Orphan

What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?

A home button.

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.

Orphan

Why do orphans never get a car?

Because their parents need to buy them one.

Kid

Kid #1: You're adopted.

Kid #2: At least they wanted me.

Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?

Orphan

What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?

They can't have sex.

"Why?"

Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.

Orphan

Why don’t orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call “daddy.”

Orphan

Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?

A: They come back, unlike their parents.

Enemy

My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.

Man

One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.