Adoption jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
Why can't orphans have iPhones?
Because they can't find the home button.
Two Asian people have a black baby.
Something wrong.
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
What’s an orphan's favorite beer?
Foster's.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.