Adoption jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
Why can't orphans have iPhones?
Because they can't find the home button.
Two Asian people have a black baby.
Something wrong.
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
What’s an orphan's favorite beer?
Foster's.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.