What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Two Asian people have a black baby.
Something wrong.
Why can't orphans have iPhones?
Because they can't find the home button.
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
What’s an orphan's favorite beer?
Foster's.
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
Ur adopted.
