Actuality jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
One of them is actually loved.
Why is the white man in prison scarier than the black one?
The white one actually did it!
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Why do orphans like being criminals?
Because then someone actually wants them.
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?
People actually have a use for one of them.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually came back.
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
Why did the orphan scream "wolf"? Because people actually came back.
Don't ever say your life is a joke because jokes are actually funny.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."
That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
Yo mama is so STUPID, she thought the Rams football team were actual RAMS.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.