Actuality jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀
So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
Why do you play Call of Duty?
I actually don't know.
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*I was actually up all night watching.*
Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.
President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."
That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.
Why do orphans love GTA?
Because they are actually wanted!
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
My dick actually destroyed the Death Star.
This page is for fat jokes, right? Well, I am breaking the mold! Yo Mama so fat! That's not a Joke it's True.
P.S. If your mom is actually fat, then I am sorry that I don't care.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
Can bees fly higher than Mt. Everest? No? Actually, they can. Mt. Everest can't fly.
Why do orphans love blowjobs?
Because they actually get kissed!
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."