Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
Yo mama so STUPID she thought the rams football team were actual RAMS
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
Whats a orphans favourite toy?
A boomerang because it actually came back.
Why do orphans like being criminals? Because then someone actually wants them
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get pickef
What is the difference between an orphan and a non- orphan, you can slap the orphan but not the non- orphan because they can actually tell their parents
Why is the white man in prison scarier than the black one? The White one actually did it
Whats the difference between an orphan and a dog
One of them is actually loved
Whats the difference between an orphan and a pencil , People actually have a use for one of them
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.
This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"
His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"
