Accidental Jokes

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One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage

I accidentally texted my wife “I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her.”

So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade. John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.

"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it they can sew it back on."

After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is", handing the ear to John.

"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it."

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I was going from Germany to Austria and I accidentally crossed the border Illegally when the poliece caught me they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them y? they said I didn't see the border

So there was school shooting in Florida why didn't the shooter just go to Disney.......sorry i just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps.on a cockroach. They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

Where you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen

my life

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I accidentally hit an orphan with my car but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents

my girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a gluestick. she still isn't talking to me

I got carded at a liquor store and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out . The cashier said never mind

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I'm Gay

The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.

a blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"

When did “yo” mean Hello. They are so different, how did they mean the same thing. Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language.