Accidental jokes

A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."

To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."

When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"

Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?

Tyler M is not to be sitting in the chair he is right now.

I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"

A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.

She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”

The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”

The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”

I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.

I want my fucking feet back!

I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭

A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.

what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?

you find the real one.

I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.

Louie being born.

I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.

Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"