Access jokes
What does NASA say when they don鈥檛 want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.
Humor is like food, not everybody gets it.
Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
His wife shut off the internet.
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his 4G ran out!
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they can't access the home screen.
Dark humor is like water.
Not everybody gets it.
I found a key that works for every door at my school.
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.
God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.
Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?
They never walk alone.
Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!