Abuse jokes

I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."

I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.

What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?

They both came in a little behind.