Abuse jokes
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.