Absent jokes
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
Why do orphans eat their breakfast with water?
Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not."
"Not who?"
"Not your dad."
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My dad left me, lol.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Why did my dad leave me?
Because I was gay.
Son: I love you, Dad.
Dad gets in car and drives away.