Absent jokes
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 馃檭
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.
My dad just comes and goes.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
My dad is like a unicorn.
He's never here. :c
My dad left me.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad鈥檚 love for me.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven鈥檛 seen either since 2005.
Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.