Absence jokes
Why is an orphan like a boomerang? Because they always come back.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Dmitriy has no mother.
Orphan: Throws a boomerang.
Boomerang: Comes back with his father.
Father: Goes to get milk.
The "f" in "orphan" stands for "amily." There is no "f."
What are orphans' favorite sports team? The home team.
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."
What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?
What's the difference between milk and my dad?
Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
An orphan's family photo: empty.
Why did the orphan live at school?
Because on the first day his parents didn’t pick him up.
Why can't I talk in the dark?
Because I'm anonymous.
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
Why do orphans not love their parents?
Because they don’t have parents.
What do you call an orphan's selfie?
A family photo.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
He had no body to go with. XD