Absence jokes
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
Dad: Son, I came back.
Son: Where is the milk?
Dad: Time for another 10 years.
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
What do you call an orphan when he's taking a photo?
Family photo.
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: (cries)
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't have a home.
Pussy, no pussy.
Why can’t orphans have dad jokes? Because they don’t got one.
How do orphan jokes start?
Checking your shoulder.
Stephen Hawking missed assembly this morning.
Why can’t orphans be a space ship? Because they don’t have a mothership!
My Dad went for some milk. He never came back :)
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
Because it had no body to dance with!
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.