Absence jokes
Why can’t orphans have sex?
Because they don’t have a daddy to run back to.
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
Boomerangs come back, but your dad never did.
What did the orphan say to his mom?
Where are you?
My dad left me.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I've never heard them.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Orphans have no parents.
What do you call your dad?
You don't. Hahahahaha!
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're parents left you."
Why did the orphan not get service at the restaurant?
Because it was a family restaurant!
Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.
Orphan: Mine are never.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?
A family photo.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.