Absence jokes
Your dad is gone.
Why are orphans gay?
They call everyone "daddy."
Why can’t orphans have sex?
Because they don’t have a daddy to run back to.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
What did the orphan say to his mom?
Where are you?
Boomerangs come back, but your dad never did.
My dad left me.
Orphans have no parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
What do you call your dad?
You don't. Hahahahaha!
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're parents left you."
Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.
Orphan: Mine are never.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?
A family photo.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
Why did the orphan not get service at the restaurant?
Because it was a family restaurant!