Absence jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home, lol.
Why are orphans always at school?
'Cause they can't be homeschooled.
Boomerangs come back, but your dad never did.
What did the orphan say to his mom?
Where are you?
My dad left me.
Orphans have no parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
What do you call your dad?
You don't. Hahahahaha!
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're parents left you."
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?
A family photo.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
Why did the orphan not get service at the restaurant?
Because it was a family restaurant!
Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.
Orphan: Mine are never.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?
Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...
Best part about being an orphan?
Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"