Absence jokes
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
What did the orphan want for Christmas?
Parents.
Why do orphans love role-plays?
Because they can call someone "daddy."
Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What do you call a man with no head? Airhead.
Why are orphans sad when playing Roblox?
There isn't any parents on Roblox.
What's an orphan's selfie called?
A family portrait.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
They have no mother's or father's day.
What's the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clearly not their parents."
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.