Absence jokes
What did the orphan want for Christmas?
Parents.
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.
What do you call a man with no head? Airhead.
Why do orphans love role-plays?
Because they can call someone "daddy."
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
What's the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk.
Why are orphans sad when playing Roblox?
There isn't any parents on Roblox.
Dads are boomerangs, I hope.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
They have no mother's or father's day.
Why can’t orphans have milk?
Because their dad never came back.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
Family photo! :)
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.