Absence jokes
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.
What do you call a selfie taken by an orphan?
A family portrait.
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.
The orphan wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
Why do orphans love chips? They love the family-sized ones, too!
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
What's an orphan's selfie called?
A family portrait.
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
Dads are boomerangs, I hope.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
They have no mother's or father's day.
Why can’t orphans have milk?
Because their dad never came back.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
Family photo! :)
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.