Absence jokes
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...
The parents aren’t home.
Why do orphans only eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
Why are orphans always famous?
Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.
Me: Hey, are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family portrait.
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."
How do orphans see their family?
By looking at the mirror.
Why can't orphans ride a bike?
'Cause their parents won't follow them.
Why can't orphans go on field trips? Parents' signature: _______
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They come back.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.