Absence jokes
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...
The parents aren’t home.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Memes
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
Why do orphans only eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They come back.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family portrait.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
Why can't orphans ride a bike?
'Cause their parents won't follow them.
Why can't orphans go on field trips? Parents' signature: _______
How do orphans see their family?
By looking at the mirror.
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.