Absence jokes
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.
What's an orphan's favorite meme?
Homer going into a bush.
Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he doesn't have parents.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple always gets picked.
If an orphan takes a selfie, it is a family photo.
What do you call a selfie taken by an orphan?
A family portrait.
Orphan: Throws a boomerang.
Boomerang: Comes back with his father.
Father: Goes to get milk.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
What do you call your dad?
You don't. Hahahahaha!
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Yo, dad went to get milk and still hasn't came back 10 years later!
Why do orphans eat breakfast with water?
The dad did not come home with the milk.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
He had no body to go with. XD