Absence jokes
If an orphan takes a photo... Well done! It's a family photo!
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...
The parents aren’t home.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
Why do orphans only eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?
Nothing, they both ran off.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Why are orphans always famous?
Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.
Me: Hey, are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.
Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?
A: To get to the other side to find his parents.
There was no other side of the road.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.