Absence jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
Why do orphans always have water with their cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk!
While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!
Memes
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Why do orphans use water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
If an orphan takes a photo... Well done! It's a family photo!
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.