Absence jokes

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.

What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.

What is an orphan's dad's job?

A magician because he makes himself disappear.

The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.

What does an orphan call a family picture?

A selfie.

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.

Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."

"Really?" asked a little girl.

"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."

Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?

Because their dad never came back with milk.

What do orphans call a family pic?

A selfie.

Q: Why can orphans swim?

A: They have or-fins.

What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

Why do orphans use water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

If an orphan takes a photo... Well done! It's a family photo!

Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

Parent Signature: _______