God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
Absence Jokes
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Why do orphans use water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
If an orphan takes a photo... Well done! It's a family photo!
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
