Absence jokes
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
The F in orphans stands for family...
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.
Why do orphans use water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.