Absence jokes
My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.
He never came back.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Daddy's Home.
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
Memes
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
Why are orphans always famous?
Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Me: Hey, are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?
A: To get to the other side to find his parents.
There was no other side of the road.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?
Nothing, they both ran off.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.
Miss you dad.
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.