Absence jokes
Me: Hey, are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They come back.
My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.
He never came back.
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family portrait.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Daddy's Home.
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?
A: To get to the other side to find his parents.
There was no other side of the road.
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.