Absence jokes
If an orphan takes a photo... Well done! It's a family photo!
What's an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Daddy's Home.
What is an orphan's least favorite song? We Are Family.
Why do orphans have water with cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
"Come on, man, give the orphans a break with these jokes."
"No, not until their parents pick them up."
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"
What do you call an orphan when he's taking a photo?
Family photo.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not."
"Not who?"
"Not your dad."
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Riddle me this. Riddle me that.
Why did my parents never come back?
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Because their dad never came home from the store.