Absence jokes
Why can’t orphans have milk?
Because their dad never came back.
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
When an orphan takes a picture, it’s a family portrait.
Hey, I haven't been on for like 2 months. I don't know who is still on here or like if everyone left, but yuh, I just decided to come back. Hey.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents aren't there to watch them!
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents can't watch them!
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.
Miss you dad.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he doesn't have parents.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.
Teacher: What kind of appointment?
Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈
True story.
You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
I see you.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.