Absence jokes
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"
What do you call an orphan when he's taking a photo?
Family photo.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not."
"Not who?"
"Not your dad."
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Riddle me this. Riddle me that.
Why did my parents never come back?
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Because their dad never came home from the store.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
Why did the orphan go to the woods? To take a *what*?
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
The orphan: why don't my parents love me? Me: because you don't have any.
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
Your forehead is like my dad.
Non-existent.
I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.