Simone

I keep hearing "Obesity kills."

My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

I think DJT has FTD.

My friend is a pimp.

I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.

What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?

A Sundown Smackdown.

I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.

What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.

Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.

Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.

Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's? Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's? Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's?

Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?

A: A tater tot.

I wasn't gonna tell another Epstein joke but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.

Q. What happens when a pedophile spills his coffee? A. It leaves an EP-stain.

Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?

It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.

Q. What's an Alzheimer's victim's favourite song? A. Stand Down at Sundown.

Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.

Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

Q. What's Terri Schiavo's favorite movie?

A. The Purge.

Q. Why aren't jokes about bulimia funny?

A. They're just in bad taste.

I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.