Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Amaurotic Idiocy
@amauroticidiocy
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.
Jokes about Marie Antoinette aren't funny, but that's no reason to lose your head.
It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"
You're really special.
But the R in special is silent.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
Q. What's Jeffery Dahmer's favorite song?
A. "Pieces of You."
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?
A. An ambulance.
Incest.
When your genealogy chart is a straight line.
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
You really put the R in special.
I should probably stop making emo jokes.
They just don't seem to cut it anymore.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.