Amaurotic Idiocy

I watched a potato farmer get arrested the other day.

She kept yelling, "Do you know who I yam?"

What does a mermaid do when she gets hurt?

Goes to the nurse shark.

Today a canvasser came to my door asking if I wanted to make a donation to protect women in the Congo.

I told her no.

The canvasser got a little upset with me and said, "Don't you know that the Congo is the rape capital of the world?"

"Then they should be used to it by now," I replied.

Did you hear about the midget astronaut?

He landed on Pluto.

Today I went into the library looking for books on gangstalking. The librarian leaned over the circulation desk and said, "They're right behind you."

Autistic students are the best, hands down!

People think I'm racist but I'm really not.

I hate everyone equally.

Old McDonald cuts himself.

E-M-E-M O!

Q: What's an emo's favourite rapper?

A: Monoxide Child.

Q. Why did the emo not like his AirBnB?

A. There wasn't enough carbon monoxide in the suite.

Q. What do you call a group of emos?

A. Suicide Squad.

Jeffrey Epstein was a disgusting person, but he could tie a good hangman's knot.

If a skinny person wants to gain weight, does that make them a trans fat?

My sister saved a guy from suicide last week.

She was hiking and the guy was on the ridge of a high, narrow cliff. She talked him down, but I think he was just being edgy.

I'll try not to post jokes about disabled people anymore.

I shouldn't kick a guy when he's Down's.

Everyone is so sensitive about racial issues these days.

All I did was burn a couple crosses and I'm up on federal hate crime charges.

Retard. Retard. Retarded. Abortion. Cross burning.

Look at me, I'm funny and edgy.

How does someone with Down's Syndrome vote?

Through a special ballot.

How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.

What's Jeffrey Epstein's favourite vegetable?

The retarded kid down the street.