What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
Shower thoughts
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
Why do orphans like emos? Reverse emo and put an "h" in the beginning
Why do orphans like emos? Reverse emo and put an "h" in the beginning
why do emos like yo-yo's? cos they get strangled by the string
How do you win an argument against an emo kid? Give him a gun he'll just shot himself
What game does an emo hate the most?
Cut the Rope
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
What is the New York fireman's favourite song....
It’s raining men
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I ́m still choosing." She looked horrified.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
what do you call a ice skating dwarf?
a midget spinner
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.