What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.
Shower thoughts
@showerthoughts
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.
They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.
The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”
The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”
The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.
What do you call a religious drug addict? A crystal methodist.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child
Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute? The rooster says.. cock a doodle doo The prostitute says.. any cock will do
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.