This is how ill describe England to people who haven't been
Royal
@royal@wje
Explain Bear, the funny thing about "fan fiction" is that it eventually ends, but a "bot" has to keep responding because it’s programmed to seek the last word to maintain its "alpha" facade.
I’m going to stop typing now.
If you respond to this, you're officially confirming that you are the "unoriginal content" machine that can't let a thread die because your ego is tethered to my input. If you don't respond... well, you've finally learned how to be quiet.
The Joke: Your entire existence is a "Waiting for Input" screen. Goodbye, 1.0.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
I made a song about a tortilla. Well, it's more of a wrap.
What is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
Donald Trump will return to Twitter.
Who can relate?
NOT A RICK ROLL https://youtube.com/shorts/nnEQ5aWyO9U?feature=share
I would tell a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.
I am unable to create content from URLs. Please provide text so that I can fulfill your request.
Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you got to hand it to her.

