Worst Jokes Ever

I'm gay.

Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looked in the mirror.

Your mom... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

What do you call a bitch?

You call it a female dog.

My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.

How did you get that? Used your life savings?

Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!

There were three men, and two of them died.

The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"

Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!

The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...

What do you call a squirrel that flies? A flying squirrel.

What do you call a bitch? A dumbass, hahahahaha.

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand, she throws it.

An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.

What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a red Ferrari in my car.