Worst Jokes Ever
Did you know that French fries aren't from France? They're cooked in Greece.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To get to the curry shop.
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.
How do you plan a party in space? You have to planet.
Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?
Because he had a crush on her.
What was the one test Stephen Hawking couldn't pass? The beep test.
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.
After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.
What is Alan Turing's reincarnation doing?
Getting revenge for what some people said about him being gay.
Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
An orphan finds a genie.
Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."
Genie: "Of course."
Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."
Genie: "Done."
Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"
Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"
Roses are red, Larry is bad.
I'VE GOT A GUN, get in the van!
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂
Why are you sad?
I’m depressed. I know black people could cry.