Worst Jokes Ever
Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
What did Love name his daughter?
Sweetheart. ♥
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
Nick sucks dick.
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
So, no head?
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.
The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.
The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
So I added Paul Walker on Xbox the other day, and it’s annoying cause all he does is sit on the dashboard.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Why are french fries rude?