Worst Jokes Ever
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.
Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
Your nan's bald.
No way, Jose!
Rock-a-bye dummy, in the tree top.
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.
Down will come dummy, cradle and all.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."
An obese kid farts.
A man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?" Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!"
"Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign, and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached."
What do you call a cow?
A cow!
Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...
I make chemistry jokes periodically.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...