Worst Jokes Ever

Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴

I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.

Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.

Aiden's the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he'll kick your butt!

How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!

Orphan: I fucked your mom.

Kid: At least mine survived from it.

Why should old women never eat seafood?

'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.

I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.

Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

Orphans more like or fans!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?

Jesus died a virgin.

Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?

'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?

Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.

What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Thumb nails.

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?

"It won't be long now..."

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?

Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.

How is smoking similar to oral sex?

The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢