Worst Jokes Ever
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."
What did the rope say to me?
"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
Why didn't the orange go to the doctor?
Because he had vitamin C.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
Why did the clown not attack Mike? Because they bouncee.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
What does the Titanic sell most?
Icebreakers.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
What was I saying again?
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
Yo mama so fat she broke the stairway to heaven...
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
Gumball: What's that? Is it a twig?
Banana Joe: No.
Darwin: Is it a leaf?
Banana Joe: No.
Gumball: What is it then?
Banana Joe: It's my BUTT!!!
Your life, that's all.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."