What kind of tree fits in your hands?
Worst Jokes Ever
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, 110 stories in 10 seconds.
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Please.
Please who?
Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.
Lol.
Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Sleep, but make it forever.
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
Professor Poopypants!!!
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.
To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Milk man.
Milkman who?
Milk poooooooooooooooop peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep man!
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.