What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, because they are walls.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
There was a man named Matt that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, "I am here to tell you my sins." He was all for it and said, "Go ahead."
Matt, "Father, last night I almost cheated on my wife."
Priest, "How so?"
Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything, just rubbed each other, that's all."
Priest, "RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! For your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box!"
Matt, "Okay, I promise not to see her again."
Then Matt walks out the door.
Priest, "Hey! I saw you! You didn't put any money in the donation box!!"
Matt, "Yes I did. I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in."
Why do y’all do this?
Because you're lonely.
Gwen, you on?
What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?
How do you find Will Smith?
You look for the Fresh Prince.
Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.
Yo, if you don't stop bugging Watersharky, we'll all go down!
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.
A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"
"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."
"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"