I started an emo salsa band. We're called Hispanic at the Disco.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't homeless people be gay?
They don't have a closet to get out of.
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.
What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?
Little kids leave preschool.
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
My family is like treasure. You need a shovel and a map to find them.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”
This is not even a joke, it's a serious question... Is eating ass considered cannibalism?
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
Where did Lucy go after the bombing?
Everywhere.
What is George Floyd's favorite song?
"Wishing Well" by Juice WRLD.
At gym class today, my friend made this song:
🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!
I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are he he.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.
