Worst Jokes Ever

Why was the computer late for work?

He had a hard drive.

What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?

Piss don't s**t on me!

Why don't sharks eat n****rs? They think it's whale shit.

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.

So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”

Why go across town when you can go across the hall?

People who make these jokes are plain crazy, more crazy than Islamic extremists.

It looks like your dad is not the only one missing.

When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."

Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.

I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?

Their ankles.

Did you adopt your dog?

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

I have a joke about doors, but you can't handle it!😂

What’s a downy's favorite song? Down Under.

You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.