Worst Jokes Ever
The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
What type of flour do orphans use?
- Self-raising.
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?
A Panera grade.
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"
The Twin Towers ordered a sesame bagel. They got the plane one instead.
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
Blame Austria for creating Hitler, who we know today. He failed art school.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!
A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.
Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.
Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?
Wait a minute! What am I talking about?
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.