911 jokes
Whenever I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.
Someone in my class yelled "Jenga!" while watching a documentary about the Twin Towers.
What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?
"Call 911!"
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.
9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.
Thank God I went on the tenth.
911 what's your emergency?
"Burning in toaster."
"Toast?"
"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"
"Set fire to my forest!"
Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)