What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5 year olds face
My girlfriend called me a "pedophile" and I said "that's a big word for a 5 year old".
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters, I think he didn’t like it, because I challenged him to a no hands contest. He said but I don’t have any. He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
What do priests and McDonalds have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year old buns
The 5 year old with cancer is going through a mid-life crisis
me as a 5-year-old: how do you relate to the twin towers friend : what me: everytime I thing of them I feel sad
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
Yesterday a 5-year-old dyslexic boy almost saved his mother from drowning, but he kept dialing 119...
so dad is teaching his 8 year old son about the planets and said this is Uranus then the 5 year old son says where is my anus
My wife is pregnant with a 3 year old so I gave her medicine but now she’s pregnant with a 5 year old
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school and the teacher replies "are you that same person who took Jimmy?" the man replies "yes" and the teacher says "Take susie too she's being a little bitch."
What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.