Yours jokes
Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.
Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.
You can't YEE your last HAW!
But I put my BALLS in ur JAW.
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.
Hey paps, BONE-appetit!
(Just eat your spaguetti.)
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
You're just big and good.
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
Your mum is a baby, huh? Not a little baby!
"Giggety, giggety." Lois, give me your titties.
End everything and your life, Steven Roca!
How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*