Yours jokes

Teacher: Where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip?

Orphan: Parent signature: ___________

You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

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  • What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?

    One didn't go in the closet.

    A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

    His wife asked what that was for.

    "It is for your headache."

    "I don't have a headache."

    He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"

    One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

    Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.

    A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.

    Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?

    Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.

    Store owner: But still, why?

    Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.

    Store owner: Oh, I get it now!