Yours jokes

You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.

Yo mama so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”

When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.

I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.

Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.

Why is your forehead so shiny? Did somebody laminate you? You're so shiny, Mulan can look into your forehead and sing "Reflection."

Yo momma so dumb, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.