You're jokes

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

A telescope has two uses:

1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.

You're an orphan.

When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂

What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?

Let the mango.

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

Lol, this joke may not be funny, but what do you call your mom fat and emo?

Your hairline is so far back, even Shaggy and Scooby ran away!

Shut your goofy ahh mouth!

Your hairline is so big, it counts as its own planet.

Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Your hairline goes so far back that Crown Burger was Crown Sandwiches.

All people on here, what's your least favorite hunting rifle? Mine's Sako-85.

Your hairline is like Quandel Dingle, it's so goofy!

Your disabled joke on you can't stand.

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Friend 1: Did you?

Depressed friend 2: I didn't!

Friend one: Swear on your life!

Depressed friend 2: I swear.

A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.

How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.

Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.

Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.