You're

You're jokes

Noodle

23 views ·

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

Teacher

17 views ·

In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"

In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"

Depression

47 views ·

Dentist: Open up, sir.

Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.

Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.

Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.

Dentist: Do you need help??

Me: Yep.

Dentist: ...

Me: ....

Wheelchair

172 views ·

When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”

Noose

8 views ·

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

Funeral

2 views ·

Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."

At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."

Language

4 views ·

To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊

Goose

5 views ·

U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.

U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.

Sadness

3 views ·

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

Ugliness

14 views ·

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

Mom

22 views ·

You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.